i miss him too

i know this is weird. and certain people will understand this but i dont care. you know when you just have someone who is your friend... who is unconditionally there for you. and then it is like he is all of a sudden just out of your life. i dont even feel like i know anything going on... and well i hate it cause there are all these other poeple who are there in that life he misses and that miss him and you want to yell at and say... "no, i miss him" but you can't cause those people are your friends too and well you also know that you haven't been that good of a friend as you should have been. and now he is leaving. and i can't say "i miss you" or "i'll miss you" cause because that isn't the way we work. i just miss all the funny things that we used to come up with... cause let's face it we were hilarious. and i know that we still are and that we are still friends but i also know that he lives in the now and and i am not there and haven't been and i am just going to be sad and then i will get over it. and know that i am okay and that our friendship is okay. i just miss him.
and like i said i will get over it. but not today. today is my day of mourning... and i am not mourning our friendship... i am mourning all those moments where we just had fun. where we had no worries other than the paper we had to write and the other minor dramas and i wasn't missing i was just living. i want to just live again. and not have to miss so i am going to just mourn those moments so i can bury them down deep and then it won't miss so bad.
but i am going to miss today. and there is nothing i want done about it... just to miss and mourn.